Darkseid Jenkins

FIRST LINE OF DARKSEID’S MEMOIR PROPOSAL: “IMAGINE A CONTEMPORARY MEIN KAMPF WITH A HAPPY ENDING AND A LOVABLE PROTAGONIST.”
— @HOBODARKSEID.

La leyenda urbana dice que Matt Fraction, antes de abandonar Twitter, creó una cuenta alterna llamada @HOBODARKSEID, dejando en el camino perlas como éstas:

DIE FOR DARKSEID YOU DICKS

DARKSEID DOES NOT MAKE TYPOS. DARKSEID OBLITERATES THE SPELLINGS THAT MOST DISPLEASE HIM

KNOW THAT IF YOU ARE A MEMBER OF ANY RACE DARKSEID HATES YOU…

LYING ON MY BACK IN THE DUMPSTER, STARING UP AT THE NIGHT SKY… DARKSEID KIND OF WISHES HE COULD FIRE HIS BONER AT THE MOON AND BLOW IT UP

DARKSEID REALLY NEEDS TO COME UP WITH A SUPER-GOOD PLAN. AND THEN SMASH YOU ALL IN THE FACE WITH IT

DARKSEID KNOWS WHAT BOYS LIKE. DARKSEID KNOWS WHAT GUYS WANT. (ANSWER = ANTILIFE)

NO, GLORIA ESTEFAN AND THE MIAMI SOUND MACHINE. THE RHYTHM SHALL NOT “GET” ME– IT IS DARKSEID THAT SHALL BE “GETTING” YOU!

WHOA BRUCE WILLIS WAS DEAD THE WHOLE TIME?!?

DIG IF YOU A PICTURE: DARKSEID CRUSHING YOUR WINDPIPE. THIS IS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE WHEN EVERYBODY BUT DARKSEID CRIES

HEY THERE IS A TIGER IN DARKSEID’S BATHROOM! THIS BACHELOR PARTY WAS CRAAAAZY!

TOMORROW ON 06-06-06 DARKSEID SHALL TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR SILLY NUMERICAL SUPERSTITIONS TO UNLEASH SUCH A TORRENT OF HORROR THAT WAIT WHAT

AWW FUCK DUDE MY TACOS GOT WET

ME AND HIROSHIMA, MOTHERFUCKERS #HOBODARKSEID

BAH. “PILATES.”

UN FILM DE DARKSEID

SOMETIMES DARKSEID IS EXTRA-QUIET SO AS TO BETTER HEAR YOUR LAMENTATIONS

THERE’S ANTI-LIFE AND THEN THERE’S JUST BEING A FUCKING DICK

DARKSEID IS FEELING YOU FOR YOU ARE ALL DARKSEID’S DOGS

THAT’S IT FOR DARKSEID, FOLKS. YOU’VE BEEN AN AUDIENCE FULL OF KOALA-AIDS-LADEN C.H.U.D.FUCKERS. TIP YOUR WAITRESSES. DIE FOR DARKSEID